New fic inspired by The Reaping and The Gathering

Title: Tragedy of Errors
Author: Ponygirl
Spoilers: Big Finish 086: The Reaping and 087: The Gathering, both written by Joe Lidster
Characters: Five, Six, Peri, Erimem, mention of Tegan
Rating: G
Summary: Peri knows she can count on the Doctor...

Author's Notes: MAJOR SPOILERS for The Reaping and The Gathering, which are available at http://www.bigfinish.com . This story includes some dialogue from The Reaping-- see footnote for credits. Thanks to nnwest for beta reading.



Tragedy of Errors

Hôtel de Paris, Monte Carlo, 1966 A.D.

The cheerful knock at the door of the hotel room gradually penetrated Peri's senses, rousing her from a very nice dream involving James Bond, two martinis (shaken, not stirred), and a craps table. She reluctantly ratcheted up one eyelid only to have her retina nearly burned out by a stray beam of sunlight peeking through a gap in the heavy curtains, and groaned.

The knock came again, less cheerful this time-- and Peri thought she recognised the polite-but-slightly-impatient quality to it. Leaning across the huge double bed she grabbed the oblivious Erimem's shoulder and gave it a good shake.

"Doctor, is that you?" she called.

"Were you expecting some other gentleman caller this morning, Peri?" answered the familiar voice, muffled by the door.

Peri fumbled for a robe and crossed to open the door.

"Sorry," she greeted, trying to rub the grittiness from her eyes. "We were asleep. I think Erimem still is."

The Doctor raised one pale eyebrow. "Peri, it's nearly ten o'clock in the morning," he observed in that tone of voice which somehow conveyed that he would never fully understand young, human females.

"Yeah," Peri returned, "and we didn't get in 'til almost six. Doctor, you don't come to Monte Carlo in the '60's and curl up with a good book after calling it an early evening! So you can wipe that disapproving look off your face."

They were interrupted by a sleepy voice coming from the direction of the bed. "Doctor?"

"Hello, Erimem," he called back to her before returning his attention to Peri. "Not at all, Peri. Far be it from me to judge," he said mildly. "I'm just happy to see that all the major buildings seem to be standing, and the front page of the newspaper is largely free of tales of mayhem and intrigue."

"Oh... ha, ha." She reached up to straighten his celery affectionately and resolved not to tell him about the thing last night with the prince and the fist fight at the edge of the cliff. "Just goes to show what I've been telling you all along... you're the one who attracts trouble, Doctor, not us."

Before her eyes, the Doctor seemed to close off, his gaze becoming hooded and his expression bland. "Yes, quite," he said, all traces of their earlier gentle teasing gone.

Suddenly awkward, she stepped back and gathered her robe together a little more snugly. "So, time to go, then?"

"Mmm, yes. Checkout is in an hour or so. The TARDIS is parked around the corner, in an alleyway. I'll be in the main hall downstairs... come down when you're ready."

Peri closed the door after his retreating figure.

Well, that was certainly... weird, she thought, and went to get Erimem up and get packed.

* * * * *

An hour-and-a-bit later, the three of them made their way down a side alley towards the familiar blue shape of the TARDIS. The Doctor valiantly struggled with the largest suitcase, leaving Peri and Erimem with only their small overnight bags as they regaled him with accounts of their visits to the Exotic Gardens and the Museum of Antiquities. By unspoken agreement, they had both decided that he was better off not knowing about some of the things that went on in the casino.

Despite outward appearances of normality, Peri still couldn't help thinking that something was off. A quick glance shared with Erimem as the Doctor opened the TARDIS door confirmed that her friend felt it, too, and once they were all inside she rounded on him before she could talk herself out of it.

"All right, Doctor. Out with it. What is it... what's wrong?"

"Yes, Doctor," Erimem added. "You seem... not quite yourself, somehow. Has something happened while we were gone?"

Normally, Peri found the Doctor's deer-in-the-headlights expression endearing. Now, it just made her more worried.

"What makes you think--" he began, but she cut him off.

"Oh, come on. We know you too well. Something's upset you. Please, just tell us what it is so maybe we can help."

The Doctor seemed to deflate, his usually perfect posture slumping a bit, making him look old despite his young body. "I'm afraid there's nothing either of you can do about this particular small tragedy, Peri."

Erimem answered for her. "Nevertheless, friends tell each other when something is troubling them. If one of us were upset about something, you would want to know about it, would you not?"

There was a lengthy pause.

"Very well," the Doctor said finally, defeated. "While you were away I ran into a old friend, a woman who travelled with me, not so long ago from my perspective, although it had been twenty years ago for her. She was dying from an inoperable brain tumour-- one which resulted from something which happened to her on our travels together, apparently.

"For that reason, I feel somewhat responsible, but she refused my offer to take her someplace with more advanced medical science to get help for her. We... we parted on good terms, but she made it clear that she did not wish for our paths to cross again. After I left her, I did some research to find out what happened to her. She lived for two more years-- twice as long as the doctors had given her. I attended her funeral just before I picked you up."

"Oh, Doctor," Peri said, feeling her chest tighten in empathy. "I'm so sorry."

"Please tell us her name," said Erimem. "I should like to know it, so that I may honour her as your friend."

"Her name was Tegan Jovanka," he answered, his voice catching slightly on the name. "She was from Australia. She was blunt and bad-tempered, and one of the bravest people I've ever known."

Not knowing what else to do, Peri moved to him and put her arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder. A moment later, she felt Erimem mirror her, resting against his other shoulder. For a long moment it was awkward, as the Doctor remained stiff and aloof, radiating discomfort at the unrestrained show of emotion. Just before Peri was about to back away, however, his arms settled tentatively over their shoulders and tightened convulsively.

He began to tremble almost imperceptibly, and the girls deepened the three-way embrace as he bowed his head, grieving his lost friend quietly.

* * * * *

Fell's Point Cemetery, Baltimore, 1984 A.D.

Peri stood in front of the newly-turned earth of her mother's grave, on the evening of the worst day of her life, sobbing.

Grey, grey... everything was grey, and heavy, and she had absolutely no idea what do do next. It was easier when there were things to be done, interviews with the investigators, the funeral to plan, talks with the insurance company. But now it was just her and her dead Mom in a box, down in the cold earth, and as quickly as she'd told the Doctor that she was returning to her old life, it was over.

She wrapped her arms around herself, crying as if she would never stop.

"Peri?"

There was such unaccustomed gentleness in the voice and the hand which settled on her shoulder that she didn't recognise them for an instant, until a splash of vibrant colour invaded her grey, grey world.

"Doctor?" she answered, scarcely believing that he had come back for her.

"It's me." He gathered her close with an arm around her shoulders as he joined her in looking down at the fresh grave. "I am so sorry."

She looked up at his solemn face, desperate for someone to help her make sense of what had happened.

"She's gone," Peri forced out through her tears. "Just... gone!"

He eased her forward into an embrace, guiding her head down to rest on his chest. She felt his voice rumble against her cheek as he spoke. "There's nothing I can say... no words..."

She pulled back enough to speak, fighting to control her voice. "Kathy's just... disappeared, and Nate-- they said he'd been transferred, and I don't understand what's happened." She buried her face against him once more and sobbed. "I don't understand!"

"Neither do I, Peri." He stroked her hair softly, his voice low and hoarse. "The universe is... chaotic. A mystery."

"It's almost... perhaps the cybermen have the right idea." He shushed her and made soothing noises as she trembled, fists closing around the edges of his coat. She gulped, hating the way her voice was edging toward hysteria. "They don't-- they don't have to go through this!"

"Shh... don't think like that. You mustn't." His obvious distress only made her cry harder.

She burrowed her face deeper into the crook of his neck. Even now, she felt the need to live up to his expectations, to be the good and strong person that he felt her to be. "I know," she assured him, voice muffled by his shoulder.

He rested his chin lightly on the top of her head. His voice was soft again as he whispered "there, there..." and rocked her gently back and forth.

Rain began to fall, the cold drops stinging where they hit her bare neck.

"I-- I can't stay here. There's nothing for me..."

He continued to rock her softly as she cried. "I know. I know."

When the rain picked up, he turned her around and urged her away from the grave.

"Come on." One arm wrapped around her shoulder, his other hand clasped hers as she allowed herself to be led. "C'mon..."¹

Grey twilight and cold rain gave way to bright white light and a low, soothing hum. The Doctor stopped by the TARDIS console, letting her go long enough to put them in motion, leaving behind the empty place she had once called home. At the loss of contact, she began to shiver with cold and tiredness until something warm and colourful appeared around her shoulders.

She pulled the long coat more tightly around herself and looked up. A strong hand cupped her cheek, wiping away the combined tracks of tears and rain.

"You're exhausted, Peri. Let me take you to the kitchen. You can sit and rest while I make you some food."

Her stomach cramped and turned over. "I can't eat right now."

"A hot drink, then. And then you should try to get some sleep."

It was too much effort to do anything more than nod and once again let herself be led. Seated in one of the mismatched chairs at the battered kitchen table, she tried to focus on the clattering and rustling as the Doctor put the kettle on. Anything to block out the repetitive thoughts circling 'round and 'round inside her head, twisting up her insides tighter and tighter.

A steaming mug appeared in front of her.

"Hot, sweet tea," he said, seating himself next to her and taking a sip from his own mug. "Widely held in many corners of your planet-- notably, not America-- to be the answer to every problem. While I remain mildly sceptical of any claim that broad, I am fairly confident in its effectiveness in combating the effects of cold rain and lack of sleep."

The smile she tried to give him felt twisted and wan, so she focussed on drinking her tea instead. The first sip burned her tongue a little, but that was almost better than the dull heaviness that seemed to be wrapped around her since her Mom died.

She drank in silence for awhile, and let the hot drink drive away some of the chill she was feeling.

Finally, the circling thoughts seemed to burst free, forcing themselves past her lips of their own volition.

"Doctor, is there an afterlife?"

"Oh, Peri. You certainly don't waste any time asking the easy questions, do you?" The normally extroverted Time Lord seemed to draw inside himself, pensive. "There was a time when I would have dismissed the concept out of hand... called it the wishful imaginings of less advanced species, unable to deal with the concept of their own non-existence.

"But in the last several decades, I've seen things which made me question my own sterile beliefs. Things which lead me to wonder if... well. Let's just say that I've come to believe that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in even Gallifreyan philosophy."

Peri struggled to put her grief into words. "It's just, since Mom found out about all the things I've seen... all the places I've gone... I wanted to tell her all about it, so she could experience how big, how wonderful it is out there. Because she would have loved that, I think." Her voice began to tremble again. "I just hate the idea that now she'll never know..."

"Just because she isn't here, doesn't mean you can't tell her, Peri.” He idly ran a finger around the rim of his mug, brow furrowed. After a short pause, he continued. “A number of people who've travelled with me have kept journals or diaries of some sort, to help them organise their thoughts and keep their experiences in some kind of perspective. Perhaps you should consider starting one as a way of communicating the things you want to tell your mother.”

Peri swallowed hard, trying to bring her emotions back under control. “Yeah, I'll... I'll think about it. It's a good idea.”

The Doctor nodded and rose, picking up her empty mug along with his own and depositing them in the sink. “For now, you should try to get some sleep. Everything in your room is just as you left it.”

He walked down the corridor with her to the familiar door, and stood to one side as she tentatively opened it. The lump in her throat grew as she looked at the only home she had left.

"Will you be all right, tonight?” the Doctor asked as she turned to him.

Yes, she tried to say, but for some reason it came out as a whispered, “No.”

The tears fought their way free again, and she choked out, “I'm sorry,” ashamed of how weak and needy she sounded.

The Doctor put a hand on her shoulder, still wrapped in his multi-coloured coat. “Peri, you stayed with me through the worst kind of regeneration sickness. I think I can stay with you on the night after your mother was buried. Don't be sorry.”

He ushered her inside. She unwrapped herself from the long frock coat and carefully draped it over the bedpost, when her eye was caught by an unfamiliar object on the bed. She picked up the small, leather bound book and stared at it uncomprehendingly for a moment before the Doctor took it from her and flipped through it, revealing blank, lined and ruled pages.

"A gift from the TARDIS,” he explained. “She wants to help as well.” He set the empty journal on the bedside table and patted the wall affectionately.

Knowing that any response was likely to disintegrate into more tears, Peri just nodded and toed off her shoes. The duvet was warm as she crawled underneath, unable to deal with the details of clothes and make up, and wrapped herself up tightly.

The lights dimmed except for the small lamp next to the bed, and she heard the sound of a chair being pulled up close to her side. There was a rustling noise as the Doctor settled himself, and a hand brushed her forehead softly. Quiet sobs made her chest hitch as the fingers rhythmically stroked through her bangs.

"Sleep now, Peri,” her best friend said, his voice low and soothing. “I'll be right here with you.”

* * * * *

The TARDIS, in the Vortex, six months later

His trial was finally over, and Melanie Bush, his future companion, was back to her proper place in his timeline. For the first time in a very long time indeed, he was alone. A bitter old Time Lord, rattling around inside his blue box like Puff the Magic Dragon without his Johnny Piper.

It was inevitable, really, when he found himself loitering outside the door to Peri's room, wavering between the desire to enter and the desire to leave and never come back to this part of the TARDIS again.

Almost defiantly, he grabbed the handle and pushed open the door, revealing Peri's usual state of clutter and chaos. Feeling every bit the intruder he was, he crossed slowly to the sloppily-made bed and sat. The emptiness was palpable.

Still unsure why he'd come here, the Doctor made to rise when the small, leather bound journal on the bedside table caught his eye. He picked it up, tutting as he removed the ball point pen from its place marking the pages. The ambient hum of the old time ship took on a disapproving quality, and he glared at the ceiling in response.

"Less of the air of indignant superiority, old girl. It's a bit rich, coming from a semi-sentient telepath, don't you agree?”

The hum became sheepish.

"Hmfh. I should think so, too.”

Leaning back against the headboard, he flipped through the pages of the book, taking in the loopy, feminine cursive until he came to the first page... the first entry.

Mom, there's so much I want to tell you-- I still can't believe you're gone. The Doctor said I should try to write it all down, but I really don't know where to start. You know, I actually asked him if there was an afterlife or not. Like he'd actually know or something. He didn't, if you're wondering.

I think now that that's actually a good thing, though. It's like, right now, I can just believe that you're in a wonderful, happy place with Dad and Grandma and Grandpa and Anthony... but if I found out for sure, and it turned out you were just gone forever and there was no such thing as Heaven, I don't know if I could handle it, does that make sense?

"Oh, Peri...” The irony hit him right in the stomach.

Schröedinger's Girl, stuck in limbo... neither alive and married to a warrior king, nor dead, killed by a barbaric surgical procedure-- unless he went to look for himself, collapsing the probability waveforms down to flat certainty.

The Doctor has been so sweet about all of this. When he came back for me, it was like I was drowning off the coast of Lanzarote again, and someone had just thrown me a lifeline. I know you thought he was loud and overbearing--

"Overbearing? Me? So writes the woman who used to bully me into getting her own way on a regular basis before my regeneration. Were there any botany conferences in the civilised galaxy to which you didn't drag me, I wonder? Of all the cheek...”

-- but really, he's the best friend I've ever had. I don't know how he could have found out about what happened, but somehow he did and he came back for me just when I needed him the most. That's the thing about us, Mom. We might argue and snipe and pick at each other constantly, but we'll always do anything in our power to look out for each other. I know I can always count on him. I know he'd never abandon me when I needed him...

He snapped the book shut abruptly, suddenly unable to draw breath. He was only vaguely aware of leaving the room, his hip impacting clumsily with the edge of a chair by the door.

An undetermined amount of time later, the gently worried nudge of the TARDIS's telepathic connection with him penetrated the fog shrouding his mind, and he found himself seated in an empty stretch of corridor, leaning up against the roundelled wall.

"Peri. Oh, Peri. You forgave me for so many things, over the years. Wherever you are now, I hope you can forgive me this final weakness. I can't come for you. If the Inquisitor was telling the truth, then you're happy and don't need me. But if she was lying, then it's too late to do anything for you, except grieve. And I couldn't... couldn't live with...”

He covered his eyes with one hand, fingers pressing hard into the sockets.

"I'm so sorry, Peri.”

FIN



footnotes:

¹The preceding dialogue is quoted directly from the audio CD Big Finish 086: Doctor Who- The Reaping, written by Joe Lidster. It is available at http://www.bigfinish.com, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Go buy it now!